Updating shit

It's been awhile since I last updated this blog. Never thought I would come back here and posting stuff. Guess I'm just too bored. So, yeah.

Things has become better for me. I have gone out of the limbo which shackled me 2 years ago. The lowest of low for me, the moment where the thoughts of suicide keeps playing in my mind. Disconnected, frustrated, sorrow and painful. Lie down in bed, hoping for one day I won't wake up anymore. Wishing some car would hit me dead. Or random disaster knock me dead. Wishing and wishing, don't have the guts to do it myself. Only expecting external cause to do it for me. Ha.

But none of it occur. I was given a chance to move forward, and take the big leap. Move out, and I did. Despite the hassle and so much discontent towards it, I force myself. Because I know, there won't be another time. Either now or never. So that night, abruptly, I pack my stuff and go back to Johor Bahru with my small bike. Don't ask me what I feel, I feel like shit. 95% of myself told me to decline, only remaining 5% told me to push forward. Only through sheer willpower I made myself go that day.

And here I am. Looking back a year back, never knew I'd reach where I am now. Slowly getting what I thought impossible before. Slowly but surely...

And prove myself to those I view enemy, that I am here, and I am what I am now.

Gasai Yuno

Gasai Yuno from Mirai Nikki

My latest drawing with color

Gasai Yuno my favorite character. Love her character, love her psychopathic persona. I'm thinking of making a fan manga of her....based on Mirai Nikki. It's only that the idea is going to be NEW of course. Oh man...I already made a concept out of it.


An overly attached girlfriend, obsessive, crazy. Someone who would kill for the loved one. Someone who will take no shit from anyone. Someone who would pursue and overcome any obstacles. That's Yuno. :3

I got a feeling

I smell something goooooood is gonna happen to me. I wonder what will it be.











That's all for the update. :-P

150 Juta

Untuk kau yang aku ingati sentiasa, lirik lagu ni amat bermakna untuk kau, untuk aku.

Untuk kali ke seratus lima puluh juta
Mereka tanyakan engkau soalan yang sama
“Eh kenapa kau masih lagi mahukan dia?”
“Apa kau buta apa kau pura-pura suka”

Di seratus lima puluh juta kali itu
Di depan semua engkau tarik tangan aku
Yang sedang buat muka kosong tak ambil tahu
Sambil ketawa engkau bilang satu per satu


“Dia mungkin bengis seperti singa”
“Tapi dia nangis tonton cerita Korea”
“Dia mungkin keras bila bersuara”
“Tapi dia jelas jujur apa adanya”
“Aku lagi kenal dia”

Eh dah lebih seratus lima puluh juta kali
Aku pesan padamu apa yang bakal jadi
Engkau dan aku ada mungkin tidak serasi
Engkau sangat manis aku ini pula dawai besi

Di setiap seratus lima puluh jutanya
Aku pun dalam hati semacam tak percaya
Apa kau lihat pada aku jujurkan saja
Terus kau cubit dagu aku sambil berkata

“Sayang mungkin baran tak kira masa”
“Tapi sayang tahan kalau yang salah saya”
“Sayang mungkin saja keras kepala”
“Tapi sayang manja bila kita berdua”
“Saya kenal sayang saya”

Buat apa di cerita
Bahagia kita rasa
Biar tak dipercaya
Peduli orang kata

Baju renyuk tak apa
Asal pakai selesa
Berkilau tak bermakna
Kalau hati tak ada

Aku lebih bengis dari sang naga
Tapi bisa nangis semata demi cinta
Suaraku keras tak berbahasa
Kerna aku rimas gedik mengada-ngada

Aku mudah baran tidak semena
Mana boleh tahan angin cemburu buta
Dan aku sengaja tunjuk keras kepala
Aku punya manja kau saja boleh rasa
Rahsia kita berdua


EDITED : Back then when I was a mushy motherfucker I posted this shit.

To My Past Significant Other

Give Your Heart a Break

The day I first met you
You told me you'd never fall in love
But now that I get you
I know fear is what it really was

Now here we are
So close yet so far
Haven't I passed the test
When will you realize
Baby, I'm not like the rest

Don't wanna break your heart
Wanna give your heart a break
I know you're scared it's wrong
Like you might make a mistake
There's just one life to live
And there's no time to wait, to waste
So let me give your heart a break, give your heart a break
Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break
Oh yeah, yeah

On Sunday you went home alone
There were tears in your eyes
I called your cell phone, my love
But you did not reply

The world is ours if we want it
We can take it if you just take my hand
There's no turning back now
Baby, try to understand

Don't wanna break your heart
Wanna give your heart a break
I know you're scared it's wrong
Like you might make a mistake
There's just one life to live
And there's no time to wait, to waste
So let me give your heart a break, give your heart a break
Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break

There's just so much you can take
Give your heart a break
Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break
Oh yeah, yeah

When your lips are on my lips
And our hearts beat as one
But you slip out of my fingertips
Every time you run, whoa-oh-whoa-oh-oh

Don't wanna break your heart
Wanna give your heart a break
I know you're scared it's wrong

Like you might make a mistake
There's just one life to live
And there's no time to wait, to waste
So let me give your heart a break
(Let me give your heart a break)

'Cause you've been hurt before
I can see it in your eyes
You try to smile it away, some things you can't disguise
Don't wanna break your heart
Maybe, I can ease the ache, the ache
So let me give your heart a break, give your heart a break
Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break

There's just so much you can take
Give your heart a break
Let me give your heart a break (your heart), your heart a break (a break)
Oh yeah, yeah

The day I first met you
You told me you'd never fall in love

EDITED : back then when I was a mushy motherfucker

Cycle of life

Momentarily destruction

Piece by paper piece.

Once upon a time...

Say cheese! :D

Kebosanan di Parkson, pelbagai jenis keseronokan yg dilakukan. Nampak terkejut melihat mannequin spender Byford tu ye Safwan.

Dgn adenye member nak wat kje ntah ape2 spnjang kerja kt Parkson neh, kebosanan melanda dpt dihapuskan dgn jayanya.

LET'S BURN!

Getting fired ain't a good thing. No matter that fired or that fired, you just wouldn't want it.

In The End

Selamat berpuasa kpd seluruh umat Islam YANG berpuasa, semoga dirahmati dan diberkati oleh Allah s.w.t. Gembira mengerjakan ibadah puasa ya!

Random post, while waiting for sahur I'm writing this. Just a piece of my mind, and what's on it. Perhaps putting it here will ease some of my thoughts, lessen the burden within.
I set my goal, right and firm for grasping what I've left behind. My passion, my desire. Though I keep hearing those about computer studies "urban legend", that of having hard time getting a job after graduate. But hey, as long you're doing something you're good at AND love, doesn't matter how it is right? I suppose you'll do great in it. That's right folks, with passion you can do things much better than anyone else isn't. But well...we humans always make mistake and for that, we were given brain to think and go back to repair what's need to be repaired. In other word, reroute.

Meh...I'm a lazy guy. That's right folks, I am. I ought to find the easiest solution for every problem. But as you can guess, most of the problems ain't come cheap the solutions...gah.

*inhale, exhale*

You won't know how you'll end up later in life. But the silhouette of it can be seen as for now, how you go and progress. Time that passed ain't coming back, because it is indeed a cruel factor in life. Even so, God gave us brain to think, then we reprogram our brain to become better, repair our flaws and awes.



This walls of time, release...my eyes move like the drift....my thoughts wander, reminiscing what has left shattered...

The haunting image, left inside the memory box in my brain projecting a vision. I keep seeing, and missing them. There I saw a locked giant door, as if a castle. Somehow I'm drawn to it...getting closer...and closer.

"Closer...", the door calls to me.

I move closer, and until I reached the door. It's locked, I can't find a way to open it. As I'm closer with the door, I had this vivid sensation and feelings. It's like a...warm, and longing feelings.

Then suddenly images of the past plays in my eyes, it's like a theater. The melodies of silent memories, echoes of it can be heard clearly.


Longing, sadness, yearn and wanting, the sadness can be felt deeply. Sometimes I saw those images, I feel empty tears running down my cheek. In a time where I can't do nothing but move forward, leaving everything else behind and memories locked away.

The door left locked, with the key to unlock it has been thrown away, sealing everything inside. Memories of you, sometimes it leaked through the keyhole. Slowly fading, but not disappearing.



A shard of my thoughts. O love, why thee hath to be the sweetest joy and the wildest woe?

WhacK

My latest artwork, and a manga-in-plan. It will be done soon...but not so soon........I'M FIRED UP!!

*edited*

Done inking.

Immortality

These walls of time release
My eyes move like the drift
The cries, they resonate within
The fabric tears before me,
Break ties between the kin

Reaching for a way out of this dream
I waste my breath ascending
Fears lead me astray
The past brings them to be
What's left to carry me...

But a memory
The dream endures these lies
Forever at the edge,
left surviving alone...

　

What's left as I wonder
I've found where I am free
Inside that which is truth
The ground upon which I have
grown is not the same
The fears, they've fallen away
Presently I've found I am not alone
in a world of infinity sewn

Perceive beyond the seam
Byond the seam...
A soul evolves as one

Unbreakable

The willow it weeps today
A breeze from the distance is calling your name
Unfurl your black wings and wait
Across the horizon it's coming to sweep you away
It's coming to sweep you away

Let the wind carry you home
Blackbird fly away
May you never be broken again

The fragile cannot endure
The wrecked and the jaded a place so impure
The static of this cruel world
Cause some birds to fly long before they've seen their day
Long before they've seen their day

Let the wind carry you home
Blackbird fly away
May you never be broken again

Beyond the suffering you've known
I hope you find your way
May you never be broken again

Ascend may you find no resistance
Know that you made such a difference
All you leave behind will live to the end
The cycle of suffering goes on
But memories of you stay strong
Someday I too will fly and find you again

Let the wind carry you home
Blackbird fly away
May you never be broken again

Beyond the suffering you've known
I hope you find your way
May you never be broken again
May you never be broken again