Updating shit

It's been awhile since I last updated this blog. Never thought I would come back here and posting stuff. Guess I'm just too bored. So, yeah.

Things has become better for me. I have gone out of the limbo which shackled me 2 years ago. The lowest of low for me, the moment where the thoughts of suicide keeps playing in my mind. Disconnected, frustrated, sorrow and painful. Lie down in bed, hoping for one day I won't wake up anymore. Wishing some car would hit me dead. Or random disaster knock me dead. Wishing and wishing, don't have the guts to do it myself. Only expecting external cause to do it for me. Ha.

But none of it occur. I was given a chance to move forward, and take the big leap. Move out, and I did. Despite the hassle and so much discontent towards it, I force myself. Because I know, there won't be another time. Either now or never. So that night, abruptly, I pack my stuff and go back to Johor Bahru with my small bike. Don't ask me what I feel, I feel like shit. 95% of myself told me to decline, only remaining 5% told me to push forward. Only through sheer willpower I made myself go that day.

And here I am. Looking back a year back, never knew I'd reach where I am now. Slowly getting what I thought impossible before. Slowly but surely...

And prove myself to those I view enemy, that I am here, and I am what I am now.